LIES

I just discovered that the photo that I've been pawning off as our "first family photo" is actually not our first picture together at all! It was taken together after I was out of recovery, when I was wheeled in to visit Rhett in the nursery. I've been lying to EVERYONE.

A fake first photo

Our first picture together, was of course taken in the operating room, while they were stitching me up. They brought him to us to look at after they got him breathing on his own. So without further ado, HERE is our first picture together as a family of three:

And a few more from the very first moments we spent with our little son:

Note the bloody glove beyond the curtain 

Sorry for the months of deceit. 

One Month Old!

Cloth diapers make him look so disproportionate 

This post is a little late (ok ok.. five days late. Which in Rhett time is a long time!) But Rhett was one month old last Saturday! I can't believe it! I kept telling him that "1/12 of your babyhood is gone now!". It is crazy how fast the last month has been and how different our little baby is already. Even though he is still (a little) smaller than an average newborn, he has grown by more than two pounds and he already looks big to me! I'm already getting misty-eyed at the thought that he's just going to keep growing and growing until the day he leaves for college! Sad!

Rhett and I aren't very photogenic together. We do our best.

As of today, Rhett is getting a little more independent. We can put him down without him crying right away and at times, he seems to prefer his space. My little baby already wants to be away from us sometimes! Boo hoo! He also is starting to want to be entertained more. We've been experimenting with giving him a rattle. He definitely doesn't 'get' it yet, but he likes to look at it and I think he'll start shaking it soon.

I'm so in love with our little boy! He is just perfect and we are so amazed every day by the blessing he has been in our lives. Happy One-Month-Birthday Baby Boy!

Bath Time

Getting to Know Rhett

We're settling into this whole "parenting business" nicely. Newborns like Rhett are quite demanding, but we're loving every minute of caring for our little son.

The worst part of our first two weeks with Rhett were that he didn't really feel like our son. Having a C-section didn't help our bonding process much. I was pregnant and thirty minutes later I wasn't and they were showing me this little baby and I didn't have to work for him at all (at that point any way. C-section recovery is a real bitch). While Rhett was in the nursery for two weeks, we had people telling us when he was to be fed, changed and swaddled and how to do it. We didn't get to pick out his bottles or shirts or blankets. The nurses called him (and all the other babies) 'my baby' whenever they were assigned to him for their shift. I hated that. He wasn't their baby, he was mine! But he didn't really feel like mine.

But enough about how awful the hospital was! Geeze, it's depressing me to just write this. Here's what we know about Rhett so far:

We love Rhett so much. Early on, we started referring to him as "the best baby in the world". His eyes are often open and looking around. He loves (nay, needs) to be held whenever he is awake. He's easily startled by loud noises (the two thunderstorms we've had have led to some completely sleepless nights). He hates his diaper being wet, and he also hates it being changed. He wiggles out of his swaddles like a mini-Houdini, even though when he IS tightly swaddled he goes right to sleep (the kid just doesn't know what he REALLY wants in life). I still have the hardest time figuring out what color his eyes are. They're dark. I'm starting to think they are a really dark blue-green. They are definitely lightening, so maybe it will become clear soon. Rhett can wear preemie or newborn clothes. Preemie clothes just barely fit over his cloth diapers, but they do work. He has a tiny amount of dark hair, which is longer in the back than the front (baby mullet!).



When Rhett was born, he weighted 4 lbs, 3 oz. At his lowest, he weighed just a hair over 4 lb. When he was discharged, he was 4 lbs, 14 oz. As of Monday, when he was three and a half weeks old, he weighs 6 lbs, 4 oz. So he's gaining weight pretty well. His pediatrician recommended waking him up to eat at night AND fortifying my breast milk with extra calories for him to gain weight faster. I don't think he like either of these things, so we haven't been doing it. I was really nervous to get him weighed on Monday but he's been gaining weight like a champ! I'm feeling smug about my motherly instincts.

Rhett is usually up at night from about 11:30-1 and from 4-5:30. He seems to be the most awake and alert during these times. He gets fed, changed, fed again, then tightly swaddled. Then he'll usually watch my face for another hour or so and whine if I put him down. He has this whiny voice when he wants to be held and he puts it on every night.

In "I SWORE I WOULD NEVER DO IT" news, we've had Rhett in bed with us after his last feeding about half of the time he's been home. He wants to be with us, and I like to snuggle with him, so I just did it one night. I was so nervous about rolling over on him but if I keep my arm under him, it's pretty much impossible to roll over onto him (without breaking my arm). I know that's kind of hard to picture, but I definitely feel safe with him in bed with us. I don't know how long we'll keep that up. I don't want to form a habit, but he's too little for that right now anyway. And we get more sleep. And happy parent=happy baby. So...we'll see how that goes.

Phew...that's a lot of information. I really want to write things down, because I KNOW I'll forget. I've already forgotten some things about his birth. I just remembered the other day that the fist time I saw Rhett, he's eyes were open and he looked at me with his forehead all crinkled up. I don't want to forget that stuff. So I need to be more disciplined about writing it down. Wish me luck in my blogging adventures with Rhett!

First Bath!

Rhett's umbilical cord fell off this week--so you know what that means! Time for his very first bath. I was fairly certain that Rhett was going to HATE bathtime. He doesn't like his diaper being changed and generally abhors being naked. He doesn't like to be cold. So we made sure to get the bath nice and warm for him before undressing him and slipping him in. To my amazement, after a brief holler, Rhett realllly enjoyed his bath! He kicked around in the water and looked up at us in wonder and amazement. I think he really enjoyed having a new experience. Josh tried showering with him afterward which he also liked--the water ran down on his back and butt and he really seemed to enjoy it.

Just like me--Rhett did not like coming out of the bath at all. Josh handed him off to me to get lotioned, dried and dressed. Rhett screamed until he was completely dressed and swaddled up, so I think the kid just likes to be warm. It was a nice family moment and I'm relieved to have gotten through the experience with minimal tears.

I don't have pictures of this because he was naked (duh), and it was really wet (double duh). I might try to snap some next time, if we do it without the shower running, I think I could get some without ruining our camera

Rhett with Dad

Eating in the hospital

 I'm sure everyone says this, but Josh is so good with the baby. He is a much more natural parent to a newborn than I am. He was the first person that was able to get Rhett to finish a bottle when we were at the hospital (an important step to getting him home). Since I have been almost exclusively pumping milk for Rhett, Josh has been able to feed him as often as I have, which I think it a great benefit to bottle feeding.

Josh is generally the person that gets Rhett ready for the day. I wake up in the morning and pump milk, while Josh and Rhett eat breakfast and get dressed for the day. Josh has been the one picking out all of Rhett's outfits, which I think is just adorable. Josh is good at talking to Rhett--it doesn't come naturally to me, talking to such a little baby. But Josh explains everything to him and Rhett makes eye contact with him as if he's listening intently. It's really adorable.

Matching

Eating at home

I feel so blessed to have a husband that is also a wonderful father. I really feel like I have a strong partner in parenting and it really does make me love Josh in a whole new way. Seeing them together just melts my heart each and every time. I picked a real winner when I decided to marry this guy!

This photo cracks me up

Products I've Loved the First Week

I'm always so interested in what baby products people are using and loving. I know that tastes change a lot as babies get older but I thought I'd write a bit about things we've been using this week that I really like. So here the are:

Prefold without a cover and secured with snappi

Cloth Diapers


We have been cloth diapering 90% of the time since bringing Rhett home. In all honesty, I absolutely love it. It's much easier than I anticipated and I was willing to put forth a lot of work to do it. Our reason for deciding to cloth diaper varied greatly. Cost savings was the real clincher for Josh. I was more enchanted by the environmental and health benefits. The way I see it--if I had to wear a diaper, I would rather wear a cloth one. Disposable diapers just kind of gross me out. They smell chemically and I just feel so wasteful throwing them away. So cloth diapers it is.

We have two dozen green mountain prefolds in the "infant" size that we've been primarily using on Rhett. When we bought them I couldn't imagine a baby fitting into a diaper so tiny, but they are just perfect for him. We're using Thirsties XS covers, and those are big, but they work. We just fold the diaper around Rhett and then "snappi" it with a handy little device that eliminates the need for pins. We've been washing them every 36 hours or so. We just do a cold rinse and then a hot was with soap and dry them for an hour. They don't need to be folded, so it's really the easiest laundry we do. I know the dynamics of cloth diapering change a lot as babies grow, so I'll probably continue to update with what we're doing and how much we like it.

With a cover. Kinda bulky

The Moby Wrap


Ok so I've really just tried this out today, but I am so proud that I learned how to wrap it and get him in there that I wanted to write about it right away. He happens to be peacefully in his wrap right now and I have my hands free to type! So I'm thrilled. I'm envisioning finally getting to clean my house without him crying to be held. Woo Hoo! Being able to hold him hands free is such a huge benefit and I foresee us being "baby wearers" for a long time. 

Aden and Anais Swaddlers

I kept hearing about how awesome these swaddlers are, so I decided to invest in four of them. Upon coming home from the hospital, we found that we had been gifted four more my Josh's sister. So now we have eight and I am absolutely thrilled with them. I wouldn't mind having more. They are nice and big, but airy and light enough to keep Rhett cool (but not cold). They are easy to wash and apparently they just get better with age. They fold up really small into the diaper bag even though they are huge when they're unfolded. And they have cute animal prints (of course, I adore the bumblebee pattern the most)

The Witching Hour

This is my child by day

This is my child at midnight

Well Rhett has been home one week, and I'm starting to understand some of his patterns. One pattern that's particularly maddening is that every night, starting between midnight and one, he cries. And then screams. And then quiets down for ten minutes and then starts screaming again. This goes on for about two hours every night. After this time, he conks out and sleeps for a good five or six hours.  It's not his normal crying that signals that he wants something. He's always fed, changed, warm and being snuggled when this goes on. I spent a few nights in near-tears trying to figure out whats wrong with him. I've considered gas, sickness, that he misses Josh (who's working this week), allergies to something I'm eating... but the regularity of these crying spells made me think it was something else. He's a very satisfied baby for twenty hours  day. It's just this time every night that he freaks out.

So of course, I consulted Dr. Google and learned about something called "The Witching Hour". It seems to describe exactly what Rhett is going through--a long period of inconsolable crying and the same time every day, followed by a long stretch of sleep. Apparently babies can get really wound up from sleeping all day and they need a way to expend all of their energy before going to sleep for the night. So they cry. I felt much better after reading about this, because it made me realize that it's not my fault. I'm doing everything I can to sooth him at night. He really just needs to let it all out. So last night when he started up, I didn't walk him around the house, put him in his swing, shush him or re-swaddle him a dozen times. I just held him close and tight until he was done. And then he slept. It was much less stress on me--trying to fix an nonexistent problem with a baby is draining! So I didn't try to fix it--I just stayed with him and tried to make him feel loved through his crying fit.

Listening to my baby scream for hours is emotionally exhausting. It's really hard to do it by myself at night (I have no idea how single mothers survive. Like, for real). I just love him so much and when I can't make him happy, I feel like a failure. But last night was better. I'm hoping this is a phase that will pass quickly and his daytime happiness will stretch into the nighttime hours. Having my husband around next week to take some of the pressure off me will also be a big help. I am so blessed by my family, even through bad spells and difficult phases.

Baby Hiccups

Coming Home

Happy Family

Car Seat Challenge

We got to come home on Thursday, May 3rd. It was SUCH a wonderful moment, to be told that we could finally bring out little son home. I was in my room pumping milk when the nurse got the word that Rhett was getting discharged. Josh was in the nursery with the baby, but the nurse came to tell me the good news first. I ran out to the nursery to tell Josh and Rhett that we'd be going home! Rhett still had to pass his car seat test... basically he had to sit in his car seat for an hour and a half and not die. (ok...they wouldn't have let him die. But he had to stay in it without any his monitors going off). After he passed, we fed him, changed him into his little going home outfit and left the hospital behind!

Ready to go!

One thing I hated in the hospital was the clothes and blankets they always had him in. They were so generic and all way too big on him. Seeing him in his own clothes for the first time was so wonderful. Rhett sleeps in his car seat like a champion. When we got home, we put him in his pack and play where he slept for another hour.

His first night home we had thunderstorms all night. Rhett is startled by loud noises, so he didn't sleep very well.  We spent a lot of time comforting him throughout the night. Having him so close to us while we slept has been such a huge blessing. I just cannot even put into words how awesome it is to all be home together. I love getting to hold and kiss him as much as we want. We can talk to him without people standing over our shoulder asking about his wet diaper. He can be around his own things and we are just so happy. We are truly blessed to have him with us. We are so excited to start this new chapter of parenthood. We're ready for the adventure!

Hospital Reflections

I didn't write as much as I should have in the hospital. It was a hellish experience and I just didn't have the energy or the heart to write anything at the time. But now that we're home,  I'd like to write a bit about our time there.

He has an IV in his head--awful thing for a parent to see

Rhett was in the hospital for a total of 14 days. He went home on Thursday, May 3rd. While there, he was treated for low blood sugar (with an IV), jaundice (with UV therapy), had a feeding tube until he learned to eat, and spent time in an incubator so that he could gain wait (so that he wouldn't waste energy maintaing his body temp). His lowest weight was a hair over four pounds, and he was discharged at 4 pounds, 14.4 ounces.

feeding tube in his nose

Our time in the hospital was an emotional roller coaster. He was never in major danger of being unhealthy, so it always felt like he should just come home with us. Josh and I spent many days hoping that it would be THE day, only to be told he needed to be observed "a few more days". It was crushing every time. We cried harder than we ever have and struggled to get to know our son through wires, a plastic box, and nursery visitation schedules.

We had some wonderful moments together as a family during this time too. At night, no one would be in the nursery so we got a bit more privacy as a family. We read books to him (his first being Brown Bear, Brown Bear). We also started singing to him (his favorite being 'Jesus Loves Me', Alleluia style). It's been wonderful falling in love with our little son.

No more feeding tube, IV or UV lights!

Rhett's big turn around was when he pulled out his feeding tube one afternoon. After that, he started to eat much better. I think he had trouble breathing with it in, which made eating much harder. He started taking an ounce and half every three hours. I hate that he was on a feeding schedule, and felt like that was much too long for him to go between feedings. He starts showing signs of hunger at around the two hour mark.

Rhett started getting fussier his second week in the hospital. He cried when we put him down, which was heartbreaking when we had to leave. Once in awhile, we'd go into the nursery and they'd tell us he had been crying for twenty minutes, which just killed me. I Feel like we missed out on so much time with him in those crucial first weeks, and I'm still upset that we're not going to get that time back.

It's good to be home. We spent so many days praying and begging God to let him come home. It was an extremely difficult time in our lives. We are so, so thrilled to be home and getting to know Rhett even better. I'll post soon with some updates on our home life.

Nursery Volunteers knitted him a hat and blanket

We want to sincerely thank everyone in our lives who has been praying for us. We have felt so much love from our friends and families in the past three weeks--we are so blessed by everyone in our lives.

Finally Home!

Just wanted to post the quick update that we are finally home with our little boy after spending two weeks in the special care nursery! It is SO GOOD to be home and I'll be posting lots of pictures and thoughts later, but right now I have some cuddling to do.